House of Sin

 Review by Judith Furlow ©2012

(ED NOTE: Due to the nature of the movie – screencaps have been kept to a minimum).

Starring John Symes as The Mage, Nik Spencer as Paul and Sarah Dunn as The Slave.

A Chemical Burn Entertainment Production in association with Chalk Productions and Red Sky Productions.

Written and Directed by Philip Gardiner.

Produced by Warren Croyle, John Symes, Nik Spencer and Philip Gardiner.

Run time: 80 minutes.

“House of Sin” is a friendly place where everyone is welcome to pursue their sexual pleasure and release any inhibitions they may have. Run by an enigmatic man known as The Mage, the “House of Sin” offers people a place to congregate and abandon their mundane lives and problems. Sounds promising, a nice place to escape reality for a while and walk around half naked if it suits you. What didn’t suit me was wasting 80 minutes of my precious, television viewing time watching this crappy excuse of a soft-core porn movie that miserably failed at a feeble attempt at being a horror flick. The only horrifying thing of this film was that it was marketed as a horror flick. Scary this film is not.

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 “House of Sin” is a British movie that promises it’s viewers a film that they will never forget (I’ll never forget how bad it was), but I’m sure it’s for all the wrong reasons. The plot of the “House of Sin” is simple enough, bored, weary people of society come to an old hotel to forget about their lives, dress themselves in leather, use a whip or handcuffs, or get led around by a dog leash. The writer, however, decided in vain to incorporate a horror theme in that of the main character “The Mage”, whom has been alive and never aged over the decades. His background is never explored as the movie focuses on the sexual exploits of its occupants. The story is narrated by a hapless sidekick named Paul, that assists The Mage in managing the house and to help get rid of a jealous lover that decides to break-in and find out what his wife has been doing.

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 The one instance of paranormal (term used very loosely) activity in the film is a possession that occurs as The Mage is dying and he transfers his soul into his sidekick’s body. That is what I assume is happening, but it isn’t actually obvious. The Mage also has the capability to heal Paul’s bloody face, an occurrence of fighting with a jealous man, and no one seems fazed by this nifty trick. Paul’s possession is very subtle, if that is in fact what it is, and has left Paul wondering why he isn’t happy with his life anymore. Unfortunately, the film spends the vast majority of its time on lesbian scenes, dominatrix whippings, and orgy groping, that left a horrible impression on me. If sh**ty, pretend porn was what I wanted then I would have kept Skin-a-Max on my cable bill.

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 The only redeeming quality of this film was the music and the DVD artwork. The house on the cover isn’t used in the film, as I don’t think any of the models were either.The DVD features a behind the scenes commentary and documentary that give the viewer nothing worth watching, just like the movie itself. The only sin in this house was that this film was labeled a horror flick.

FINAL RATING: 0 whips out of 5.

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